Travis Colgan (2006

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Our beautiful baby boy
Travis Leo Colgan
Born still May 8, 2006
4:30am
1lb, 9ozs--11 inches
20 weeks

Just Those Few Weeks

For those few weeks--
I had you to myself
And that seems too short a time
to be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks--
I came to know you
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks--
When I lost you.
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks--
It wasn't enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks--
And no "normal" person would cry all night
over a tiny, unfinshed baby,
or get depressed and withdrawn day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one
you darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life so much richer
and give me a small glimpse of eternity.

Poem Copyright 1984 by Susan Erling Martinez

Click here to see Travis Colgan's

Family Tree

Tributes and Condolences

Miss you / Mommy
In a cruel twist of fate this day happens to be Mother's Day this year. Happy Mother's Day my sweet baby boy. I miss you every single day.

Love you to the moon and back / Catherine Colgan (Mommy)
This wasn't supposed to be your birthday. You were supposed to be born kicking and screaming in September. You were supposed to be a happy surprise. But that's not what happened and we have to live with that. Daddy and I still miss you...and we wil...

Continue >>

Please take care of each other / Catherine Colgan (Mommy)
Sweet boy: Please look after Little Bug for me. Know that wherever you are mommy loves you.

Yes and No / Catherine Colgan (Mommy)
I sat there in that room and bargained with God. I'll take him even if he's not perfect...please let me have him...please let him live. And then just a few short days later you were gone. "Sometimes the answer is no." That's what somebody...

Continue >>

I love you sweet baby / Mommy
Time passes. Days that were once so important just slip by unnoticed by everyone but me. I remember them. I remember you. And I miss you more than I can say. I love you sweet baby boy.

More tributes and condolences...

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His legacy

My sweet baby boy
He didn't have any clothes that would fit him until he was full term. We called him The Beast for 19 weeks and five days...He didn't even have a name. We didn't know he was a boy until three days earlier.

But on the day of his death and birth, his daddy bought him a soft blue blankie with barns and cows on it, and we chose a name for him from our list...Travis Leo...I hope he likes them both.

I woke up at about 4:30am Sunday and just knew something wasn't right. We called the doctor at 6:15am after I finally convinced myself that I wasn't just remembering last year. Steve stayed with Sam while I went in to the hospital, fully hoping that they would tell me I was crazy and send me home...after hearing that sweet heartbeat sound on the doppler. But by 9am, when the nurse said, "We don't know anything for sure," I replied with, "Please don't do that, we both know for sure."

Induction started Sunday morning at 11:30am. Travis Leo was stillborn at 4:30am Monday, May 8, 2006. He weighed 1lb, 9ozs and was 11 inches long. He had his brothers' nose, ten fingers, ten toes, and appeared physically perfect...except for the dead part.

I held him briefly before passing out from the medication....then again when I awoke later in the morning. I called my parents and they came to see us and take pictures. This time I was prepared. I guess experience pays off in this, at least.

I asked for all sorts of testing, to cover infections, chromosomal abnormalities and physical defects. We just had the ultrasound on Wednesday and I was/am healthy, so that provides some clues that it wasn't an infection like with Alex, but I wanted to be sure.

I felt it was inevitable. I couldn't believe that we would be so lucky as to bring another living baby home with us...THIS baby...our Travis. Maybe I cursed us all. Maybe I'm being punished for not believing in God anymore. I really don't care about the who or what or why this happened to us. It happened...and our lives will forever be changed.

I looked at our Sam yesterday and saw two ghost children dancing around with him. I thought to myself how Alex should be almost a year old. Then I thought how, in his absence, Travis should be an exciting expectation in our lives. There is nothing that will fix this.

If you ever have a moment, please send a smile out into the universe for our Alex and the baby boy who died without a real name...our Travis.

We loved them both when they were here with us and we will love them forever.

More of his legacy...

Travis's Photo Album

It's positive!

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Go to Album >>	Open full-screen Slideshow >>
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Bring the memories home by publishing your online memorial as a genuine hardcover keepsake

This memorial website was created by Catherine Colgan on 05/13/2006.
click here to contact Catherine

Memorial Candles

	Mommy lit a candle on 07/27/2011: "Some days I feel like I can't breathe with how much I miss you. I love you baby boy."

	Dolores George lit a candle on 07/22/2011: "Thought of you today. Thought of your family, both here and in heaven. I never met you but love you just the same."

	Holley lit a candle on 05/08/2010: "Sending love to you, Travis, and to your family."

	Jen lit a candle on 04/30/2010: "such a sweet boy, thinking of your mumma and dadda"

	Holley lit a candle on 04/09/2010: "Just sending some love, as always."

	Holley Madigan lit a candle on 10/17/2009: "Remembering you little one. Hugs always for your Mom, Dad and brothers."

	Kathi Pfeiffer lit a candle on 09/23/2009: "Thinking of you today Travis, and your sweet family."

	Catherine Colgan lit a candle on 05/08/2009: "I love you little one."

	Sarah Peters lit a candle on 07/12/2008: "the days go by and we miss you more as they pass. love to you little guy..."

	Kathi Pfeiffer lit a candle on 05/08/2008: "Thinking of you sweet boy. Sending love to your Mama & Daddy and your brothers."

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